1 00:00:07,888 --> 00:00:09,679 "MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,761 WHY'D YOU GET ME UP SO EARLY? 3 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,933 SHH! YOU'VE GOT TO BE QUIET AND LEAVE 4 00:00:13,934 --> 00:00:15,935 BEFORE JOE OR MY AUNT MEL SEES YOU. 5 00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:17,767 WHY? YOU'RE AN ADULT, RIGHT? 6 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,689 OTHERWISE I'M IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 7 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:20,940 NO, IT'S JUST 8 00:00:20,941 --> 00:00:22,442 JOE WILL GLARE AT US, 9 00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:25,105 AUNT MEL WILL ASK FOR "DETAILS, GIRLFRIEND," 10 00:00:25,106 --> 00:00:27,567 AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THE DETAILS. 11 00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:29,949 WHAT? LIKE THAT I'M YOUR TEACHING ASSISTANT? 12 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:31,951 YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF A BIGGIE. 13 00:00:31,952 --> 00:00:34,534 LENNOX, COME ON. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 14 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,656 I MEAN, AS LONG AS THE DEAN DOESN'T FIND OUT. 15 00:00:36,657 --> 00:00:39,329 OKAY, LESS TALKING, MORE LEAVING, PLEASE. 16 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,501 WELL, HEY, ANYTIME YOU WANT TO STAY OVER AT MY PLACE, 17 00:00:41,502 --> 00:00:43,964 YOU'RE WELCOME. VERY WELCOME IN FACT. 18 00:00:48,929 --> 00:00:51,431 ( clears throat ) 19 00:00:51,432 --> 00:00:52,842 MORNING. 20 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,175 HI, JOE. EMERSON JUST GOT HERE RIGHT NOW, 21 00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:56,556 THIS MORNING TO PICK ME UP. 22 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,729 OH. WHY'S HE CARRYING HIS SHOES? 23 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:03,773 BECAUSE HE HATES TO TRACK IN MUD. 24 00:01:03,774 --> 00:01:05,485 FROM YOUR BEDROOM? 25 00:01:05,486 --> 00:01:06,946 GOOD MORNING. 26 00:01:06,947 --> 00:01:08,488 OH, HI, EMERSON. 27 00:01:08,489 --> 00:01:10,070 TALK LATER, GIRLFRIEND. 28 00:01:11,742 --> 00:01:12,742 YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS? 29 00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:14,073 DO YOU HAVE NO RULES AT ALL? 30 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,405 JOE, CHILL. 31 00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:17,747 SHE'S IN COLLEGE. SHE'S NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE. 32 00:01:17,748 --> 00:01:19,829 OH! 33 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,331 NO, DON'T! 34 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,204 YOU SHOULDN'T BEND OVER IN HEELS. 35 00:01:25,045 --> 00:01:26,046 DON'T WORRY. WE'RE GOT THEM. 36 00:01:27,918 --> 00:01:31,301 WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 60 PHILOSOPHY EXAMS IN YOUR BAG? 37 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,762 BECAUSE I'M... 38 00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,214 RECYCLING PAPER. 39 00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:35,925 YOU'RE GRADING THESE. 40 00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:38,017 IT SAYS THAT YOU'RE THE TEACHING ASSISTANT. 41 00:01:38,018 --> 00:01:39,018 WAIT, LENNOX, 42 00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:40,681 YOU'RE DATING YOUR T.A.? 43 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,023 KINDA. 44 00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:45,935 I THINK WE JUST FOUND OUT WHAT'S UP... 45 00:01:45,936 --> 00:01:48,278 GIRLFRIEND. 46 00:01:48,279 --> 00:01:49,689 ( theme music playing ) 47 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:52,732 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 48 00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,735 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 49 00:01:57,738 --> 00:01:59,078 SEE YOU IN CLASS. OH, HEADS UP. 50 00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:00,330 POP QUIZ TODAY. 51 00:02:00,331 --> 00:02:03,244 OKAY, NOT HELPING. BYE. 52 00:02:04,745 --> 00:02:06,005 YOU KNOW, 53 00:02:06,006 --> 00:02:08,918 I THOUGHT I MENTIONED THAT EMERSON WAS MY T.A. 54 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,090 SO, THE PERSON SLEEPING OVER IN YOUR BEDROOM 55 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:12,552 IS ALSO GRADING YOUR TESTS? 56 00:02:12,553 --> 00:02:14,964 ( chuckles ) WHAT A SMALL WORLD, HUH? 57 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,756 OH, COME ON. 58 00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:18,518 IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S THE PROFESSOR. 59 00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:21,761 NO NO NO. HE'S JUST THE PROFESSOR LIGHT. 60 00:02:21,762 --> 00:02:24,143 NOW WITH ONLY HALF THE CREEPINESS. 61 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,856 SEE, THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU GUYS. 62 00:02:26,857 --> 00:02:28,768 I KNEW YOU'D BE ALL JUDGEY AND WEIRD. 63 00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:30,149 NO, HE'S JUDGEY AND WEIRD. 64 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,982 I'M JUST LETTING THIS NEW INFORMATION WASH OVER ME 65 00:02:32,983 --> 00:02:34,944 LIKE A SPRING RAIN. 66 00:02:34,945 --> 00:02:36,576 LENNOX, SERIOUSLY, 67 00:02:36,577 --> 00:02:38,037 ALL THREE OF US NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 68 00:02:38,038 --> 00:02:40,079 ACTUALLY, I GOTTA GET TO CLASS. 69 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,081 YOU'RE WEARING YOUR PAJAMAS. 70 00:02:42,082 --> 00:02:44,995 IT'S INCREDIBLY CASUAL TUESDAY. SEE YOU! 71 00:02:48,589 --> 00:02:49,999 SO YOU'RE REALLY OKAY WITH ALL THIS? 72 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,791 WELL, I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE SITUATION. 73 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,213 ALL RIGHT, THEN LET'S PUT A STOP TO IT RIGHT NOW THEN. 74 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,094 IT'S NOT AS CUT AND DRY AS THAT, JOE. 75 00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:57,347 IF I FORBID LENNOX FROM SEEING EMERSON, 76 00:02:57,348 --> 00:02:58,678 SHE'LL JUST SEE HIM BEHIND MY BACK, 77 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,929 - SO WHAT'S THE POINT? - THE POINT IS 78 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,681 IT'S ETHICALLY KIND OF SKETCHY. 79 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,514 ALL RIGHT? COME ON. THIS IS... THIS IS YOUR HOUSE. 80 00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:06,226 YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO FORBID THAT GUY FROM COMING HERE. 81 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,897 - YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. - I CAN HEAR THAT LITTLE VOICE 82 00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:09,439 INSIDE YOUR HEAD. YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S SAYING RIGHT NOW? 83 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,110 IT'S SAYING... 84 00:03:11,111 --> 00:03:14,153 "THAT NO GOOD LOWLIFE AIN'T WELCOME IN THIS HOUSE." 85 00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:16,986 OKAY, WHY DOES MY LITTLE VOICE SOUND LIKE JOE PESCI? 86 00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:19,739 "COME ON, MEL. JUST LET ME OUT, ALL RIGHT? 87 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:22,662 LET ME JUST TELL THAT PUNK KID HOW IT IS." 88 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:23,993 ALL RIGHT, FINE. I'LL TELL HER, 89 00:03:23,994 --> 00:03:26,086 BUT JUST TO GET THAT VOICE TO SHUT UP. 90 00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:32,922 ( computer dings ) 91 00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:35,675 HEY, RYDER. HOW'S MONTREAL, EH? 92 00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,176 It's great. 93 00:03:37,177 --> 00:03:38,678 Except for one little thing. 94 00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:41,681 I'm not there, and I kind of forgot my passport. 95 00:03:41,682 --> 00:03:44,934 OKAY, THAT'S TWO THINGS, AND THEY'RE NOT LITTLE. 96 00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:47,607 - WHERE ARE YOU? - I'm in a hotel right by the border. 97 00:03:47,608 --> 00:03:50,109 I can actually see Canada from the bathroom. 98 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:53,022 Anyway, I'm here with a chaperone. 99 00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:54,274 She stayed behind to watch me. 100 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,116 I think she's somebody's mom. 101 00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:59,320 I'm your homeroom teacher. 102 00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:02,912 Oh. Yeah, you are. 103 00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:05,995 SO YOU'RE MISSING THE TRIP? THAT'S AWFUL. 104 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,077 Hey, listen, do you think you could find my passport 105 00:04:08,078 --> 00:04:09,709 and maybe drive it up here 106 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:12,081 so I can meet up with the rest of my French class? 107 00:04:12,082 --> 00:04:14,504 RYDER, YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO DO A BETTER JOB 108 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:16,255 ABOUT REMEMBERING THESE THINGS. WHERE DID YOU LEAVE IT? 109 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,758 I think it's in the shoebox under my bed, 110 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,800 but don't look at anything else under there. 111 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,051 TRUST ME, I DON'T WANT TO. 112 00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,843 And if it's not there, 113 00:04:23,844 --> 00:04:25,935 it's probably somewhere else in my room... 114 00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:28,097 or downstairs. 115 00:04:28,098 --> 00:04:29,849 I definitely remember seeing it on a flat surface 116 00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:33,443 like a table or a desk or possibly the ground. 117 00:04:33,444 --> 00:04:36,065 GOOD. 'CAUSE THAT RULES OUT NOTHING. 118 00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:37,567 - ( knocks on door ) - OH. 119 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:38,898 THANKS, AUNT MEL. I GOTTA GO. 120 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,660 THE FOOD GUY'S HERE. YOU DIAL A NUMBER 121 00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:42,322 AND THEY BRING WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THE ROOM. 122 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,904 - I GOT STEAK. - Mel: No no no! 123 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,118 HEY THERE, LENNIE. 124 00:04:49,119 --> 00:04:50,119 OH, HI. 125 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,911 HEY, SO DID ANYBODY TEASE YOU TODAY 126 00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:53,673 ABOUT WEARING YOUR PAJAMAS? 127 00:04:53,674 --> 00:04:55,505 ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS DRESSED UP FOR MY SCHOOL. 128 00:04:55,506 --> 00:04:57,677 AT LEAST I'M WEARING BOTTOMS. 129 00:04:57,678 --> 00:04:59,089 ( laughing ) 130 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,182 I'VE BEEN THINKING A LITTLE BIT 131 00:05:03,183 --> 00:05:05,094 ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH EMERSON. 132 00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:06,596 OH, HAVE YOU NOW? 133 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,769 YEAH, I'M SURE HE HAS SOME VERY GOOD POINTS. 134 00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:13,022 I MEAN, HE REALLY ROCKS THAT FANCY MAN BAG. 135 00:05:13,023 --> 00:05:16,526 BUT I'M JUST SNAGGING ON THIS ONE MINOR NEGATIVE 136 00:05:16,527 --> 00:05:18,938 THAT HE'S YOUR TEACHING ASSISTANT. 137 00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:22,742 TRUE, BUT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, WE'RE EQUALS, YOU KNOW? 138 00:05:22,743 --> 00:05:24,323 HE RESPECTS ME. 139 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,905 HE SAYS HE'S NEVER HAD A FRESHMAN 140 00:05:25,906 --> 00:05:28,998 GRASP WITTGENSTEIN THE WAY I DO. 141 00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:30,370 IS THAT WHAT HE CALLS HIS... 142 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,951 WITTGENSTEIN'S A PHILOSOPHER. 143 00:05:31,952 --> 00:05:33,042 OH. 144 00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,754 HONEY, COME ON. LET'S FACE IT. 145 00:05:34,755 --> 00:05:37,216 IT'S INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. 146 00:05:37,217 --> 00:05:39,759 IT'S LIKE DATING YOUR BOSS. IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 147 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,171 RIGHT, LIKE WHEN JOE STARTED DATING HIS BOSS. 148 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:45,344 WHO WAS THAT AGAIN? OH, RIGHT. YOU. 149 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,766 NO NO. 150 00:05:46,767 --> 00:05:48,347 WE HAD SEX WHILE I WAS HIS BOSS. 151 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,099 TECHNICALLY WE DIDN'T START DATING UNTIL AFTER HE QUIT. 152 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,811 SO THERE. 153 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,183 I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, AUNT MEL. 154 00:05:54,184 --> 00:05:55,935 HONEY, YOU'RE ONLY 18. 155 00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:58,317 I'M JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU. 156 00:05:58,318 --> 00:06:01,190 LOOK, I KNOW I CAN'T TELL YOU TO STOP SEEING EMERSON, 157 00:06:01,191 --> 00:06:03,653 BUT YOU DO LIVE UNDER MY ROOF, 158 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,825 AND I'M JUST NOT VERY COMFORTABLE 159 00:06:05,826 --> 00:06:07,577 WITH HIM COMING OVER TO THE HOUSE. 160 00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:08,868 YOU'RE BANNING HIM? 161 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,041 YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO HARSH, BUT YES. 162 00:06:12,042 --> 00:06:14,994 OKAY, WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS LITTLE TALK. 163 00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:17,336 AND HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THOSE SHOES YOU BORROWED, 164 00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:19,208 KEEP THEM. THEY LOOK GREAT ON YOU. 165 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:21,501 WAIT, WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS. 166 00:06:21,502 --> 00:06:23,673 OH, NO. I HAVE LOTS OF SHOES. 167 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,675 NO, THIS THING WITH EMERSON. 168 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:28,468 OKAY, I'M AN ADULT. YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME. 169 00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:30,970 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU'RE GONNA BAN EMERSON FROM THE HOUSE, 170 00:06:30,971 --> 00:06:32,472 THEN I'M BANNING YOU FROM MY ROOM. 171 00:06:32,473 --> 00:06:35,515 WHICH IS TECHNICALLY STILL PART OF MY HOUSE, 172 00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:37,356 BUT JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW GENEROUS I AM, 173 00:06:37,357 --> 00:06:40,480 I AM GONNA LEAVE RIGHT NOW OF MY OWN FREE WILL. 174 00:06:40,481 --> 00:06:42,902 NO, FINE, I GET IT. I HAVE NO RIGHTS HERE. 175 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,656 YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES. 176 00:06:46,737 --> 00:06:47,908 GOOD TALK, HONEY. 177 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,911 I DID IT. 178 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,624 SO YOU FINALLY PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. WAY TO GO, MELLY. 179 00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:56,035 YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I NEVER DO. 180 00:06:56,036 --> 00:06:57,497 YOU NEVER DO. 181 00:06:57,498 --> 00:06:58,918 I HATED SEEING HER LIKE THAT, 182 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,630 ANGRY AND YELLING AT ME. 183 00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,922 HONEY, ANGRY AND YELLING IS ALL PART OF GOOD PARENTING. 184 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,505 THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU HIT THE PARENTAL SWEET SPOT. 185 00:07:05,506 --> 00:07:07,927 IT DID FEEL KIND OF GOOD TO LAY DOWN THE LAW. 186 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,178 I BET IT DID. 187 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,600 WELL, YOU KNOW, WE MAKE A GOOD TEAM. 188 00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,723 I DISPENSE THE WISDOM, AND YOU EXECUTE... 189 00:07:14,104 --> 00:07:15,765 YOU KNOW, THE BEST THAT YOU CAN. 190 00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,857 NO, IT WASN'T YOUR WISDOM THAT HELPED ME. 191 00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:19,859 I HAD A COUPLE GLASSES OF WINE FIRST. 192 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,481 ALCOHOL-BASED PARENTING. 193 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,982 CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BOOK, HONEY. 194 00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:24,323 HERE SHE IS. 195 00:07:24,324 --> 00:07:25,985 ALL RIGHT, WELL LOOK, I'LL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ME. 196 00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:27,066 OH, NO, IT'S OKAY. 197 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,069 I HAVE HALF A BOTTLE OF ADVICE LEFT. 198 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,492 - HEY THERE, SWEETIE. - HEY, AUNT MEL. 199 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,664 LISTEN, I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID 200 00:07:34,665 --> 00:07:36,836 ABOUT HOW IT'S YOUR HOUSE AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT 201 00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:37,917 TO MAKE YOUR OWN RULES, 202 00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,919 AND I RESPECT THAT. 203 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,423 WOW. I AM IMPRESSED AT HOW CALM AND MATURE YOU'RE ACTING. 204 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:46,756 YEAH, SO I TALKED IT OVER WITH EMERSON... 205 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,848 - GREAT. - ...AND I DECIDED TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. 206 00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:51,721 OH, I'M SO PROUD OF... YOU WHAT?! 207 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,302 SEE YOU. 208 00:07:53,303 --> 00:07:54,764 BUT... 209 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,145 BUT... ( stammers ) 210 00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:58,938 BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT! 211 00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:01,942 COME ON, I HIT THE PARENTAL SWEET SPOT. 212 00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:09,408 24 POINTS, BABY. 213 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:10,610 NEW PERSONAL BEST. 214 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:13,573 I KNOW BASKETBALL'S A TEAM EFFORT, HONEY, 215 00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:15,034 BUT I REALLY CARRIED THEM. 216 00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:16,996 UH-HUH. UH-HUH. 217 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,417 SO LENNOX MOVED OUT. 218 00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:19,879 OH, THAT'S... SHE WHAT?! 219 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,500 YEAH, SHE PACKED UP ALL HER THINGS 220 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,712 AND MOVED IN WITH HER T.A. 221 00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:23,833 HOW COULD YOU JUST LET THIS HAPPEN? 222 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,585 OH, LET'S SEE, BECAUSE I LISTENED TO YOU 223 00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:27,427 AND JOE PESCI? 224 00:08:28,428 --> 00:08:30,429 SO, WHAT'S OUR NEXT MOVE? 225 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:32,301 I HAVE NO POWER TO GET HER BACK NOW. 226 00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:34,844 YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER. YOU PAY FOR EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE. 227 00:08:34,845 --> 00:08:36,095 YOU COULD JUST STOP DOING THAT. 228 00:08:36,096 --> 00:08:38,017 HUH. YOU'RE RIGHT. 229 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,599 - YEAH, I PAY FOR HER TUITION... - MM-HMM. 230 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,940 - ...HER CREDIT CARDS... - YEP. 231 00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:44,063 - ...HER BIRTH CONTROL. - THAT'S... YOU WHAT? 232 00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,985 HER TUITION AND CREDIT CARDS. 233 00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:47,406 UM, WAIT. 234 00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:48,568 BUT IF WE CUT HER OFF, 235 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,149 THEN SHE'LL JUST BE A COLLEGE DROPOUT 236 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:51,781 LIVING WITH A BOYFRIEND WE DON'T LIKE. 237 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,452 NO PLAN IS PERFECT. 238 00:08:53,453 --> 00:08:54,574 OR HOW ABOUT THIS. 239 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,155 I CALL HER RIGHT NOW AND TELL HER 240 00:08:56,156 --> 00:08:57,997 EMERSON IS WELCOME HERE ANYTIME SHE WANTS. 241 00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:00,119 WHAT? THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 242 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,581 YOU'RE RIGHT. 243 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,713 I'LL TEXT HER. KIDS RESPOND MUCH BETTER TO THAT. 244 00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,925 GIVE ME THIS. I'M TAKING YOUR PHONE AWAY FROM YOU, 245 00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:07,927 'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO NUKE THE WHOLE POWER STRUCTURE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. 246 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,799 STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC. 247 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,761 NOW GIVE ME MY PHONE BEFORE WE LOSE OUR PRECIOUS LENNOX 248 00:09:11,762 --> 00:09:13,052 FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! 249 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,384 MEL, LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO STAND FIRM HERE, OKAY? 250 00:09:15,385 --> 00:09:16,976 I WILL STAND FIRM WITH MY PHONE! 251 00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:18,437 WILL YOU STOP IT? LOOK, LENNOX 252 00:09:18,438 --> 00:09:19,679 RAN AWAY FROM HERE LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. 253 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,601 YOU CAN'T REWARD THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR 254 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,683 BY CAVING. YOU GOTTA WAIT AT LEAST 24 HOURS 255 00:09:23,684 --> 00:09:25,524 OR ELSE YOU'RE GONNA SEEM DESPERATE AND PATHETIC. 256 00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,566 OKAY, FINE. I'LL WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW. 257 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,739 - PHONE PLEASE? - IF I GIVE THIS BACK TO YOU, 258 00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:30,740 YOU'RE NOT GONNA CALL LENNOX WITH IT, ARE YOU? 259 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,071 NO. I'M GONNA FINISH 260 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,954 A VERY IMPORTANT GAME OF CANDY CRUSH. 261 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,158 WELL OF COURSE ON A META LEVEL 262 00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:42,161 PLAYING TO AN AUDIENCE IS A REFLECTION OF MODERN SOCIETY. 263 00:09:42,162 --> 00:09:43,623 YEAH, NO ONE'S DISPUTING THAT, 264 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,044 IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE ACCUSTOMED TO CONSTANT 265 00:09:45,045 --> 00:09:47,166 BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TO CREATE AN IMAGE OF OURSELVES 266 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:48,337 FOR SOCIAL MEDIA. 267 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,880 YEAH, TOTALLY. 268 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,591 THIS IS AWESOME. YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER GOTTEN TO 269 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,014 TALK LIKE THIS ABOUT "HUNGER GAMES" BEFORE. 270 00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:57,016 WELL, THE WHOLE THING'S A RIP-OFF OF FUKASAKU'S 271 00:09:57,017 --> 00:09:58,057 "BATORU ROWAIARU." 272 00:09:58,058 --> 00:10:00,519 YEAH. WHO DOESN'T KNOW THAT? 273 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,601 BRILLIANT IDEA. LET'S WATCH THAT RIGHT NOW. 274 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,183 - YEAH. - OH, GOSH. 275 00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:06,646 YOU KNOW, I'D LOVE TO, 276 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:07,987 BUT IT'S ALMOST 2:00 A.M. AND I HAVE 277 00:10:07,988 --> 00:10:10,149 AN EARLY SEMINAR TOMORROW, SO I'D BETTER SAY NO. 278 00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:13,572 BUT YOU GUYS HAVE FUN WATCHING FUKASAKU'S... 279 00:10:13,573 --> 00:10:15,035 "BABA BOOEY." 280 00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,077 OH, LENNOX, JUST A HEADS UP, 281 00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:19,909 JAMES TENDS TO CRANK IT UP PRETTY LOUD. 282 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,330 DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THAT? 283 00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,912 OH, UH, YEAH. 284 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:26,125 NO, THAT'S COOL. I'M JUST GONNA TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE BED. 285 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,128 ( music blaring ) 286 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,131 YEAH, I CAN TOTALLY SLEEP THROUGH THAT. 287 00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:34,675 ( whistling ) 288 00:10:46,857 --> 00:10:48,689 - ( chirping ) - ( yelps ) 289 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,151 Emerson: EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE? 290 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,232 YEAH. 291 00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:54,904 YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE. 292 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,485 YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY I DECIDED 293 00:10:56,486 --> 00:10:58,407 I'M NOT GONNA TAKE A SHOWER TONIGHT. 294 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,741 SHOWERS ARE SUCH A WASTE OF WATER. 295 00:11:01,742 --> 00:11:03,542 Emerson: FEEL FREE TO TAKE A BATH. 296 00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:05,494 NO. 297 00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:06,747 ( shudders ) 298 00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:11,841 HEY, YOU KNOW, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY RYDER NEEDS A PASSPORT. 299 00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:14,173 I MEAN, IT'S JUST CANADA. CAN'T YOU JUST WRITE A NOTE 300 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,175 SAYING "YO, CANADA, 301 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,346 MY NEPHEW WANTS TO COME INTO YOUR COUNTRY. 302 00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:18,427 YOU COOL?" 303 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,429 THIS IS THE LAST THING I'M DOING FOR HIM. 304 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,680 YOU KNOW, YOU RAISE THESE KIDS 305 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,602 AND THEY GIVE YOU NOTHING BACK, NO APPRECIATION. 306 00:11:23,603 --> 00:11:24,854 HE BETTER NOT NEED A KIDNEY, 307 00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:25,975 BECAUSE I'M KEEPING BOTH OF MINE. 308 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,977 WITH THE AMOUNT YOU DRINK, HONEY, 309 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,108 THAT'S A VERY SMART MOVE. 310 00:11:29,109 --> 00:11:31,400 YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT THE BOX. 311 00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:33,072 JUST FORGET ABOUT THE PASSPORT. 312 00:11:33,073 --> 00:11:34,693 - HE'S ON HIS OWN. - WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 313 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,155 LOOK WHAT I JUST FOUND. 314 00:11:36,156 --> 00:11:38,157 YOU KNOW THAT ANNOYING THING YOU DO EVERY THANKSGIVING? 315 00:11:38,158 --> 00:11:40,619 SET FIRE TO THE BISCUITS? 316 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,661 NO, WE ALL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT, SWEETIE. 317 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:45,244 NO, THAT THING YOU MAKE US DO. 318 00:11:45,245 --> 00:11:47,666 YOU KNOW WHERE YOU MAKE US WRITE THE LIST OF EVERYTHING WE'RE GRATEFUL FOR? 319 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,999 I JUST FOUND RYDER'S FROM A COUPLE YEARS AGO. 320 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:54,383 LISTEN TO THIS. "THINGS I'M 'GRATFUL' FOR." 321 00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:56,385 I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT LIST SAYS. 322 00:11:56,386 --> 00:11:57,596 YEAH? LISTEN TO THIS. 323 00:11:57,597 --> 00:12:01,891 "I'M 'GRATFUL' FOR MY AUNT MEL AND JOE." 324 00:12:01,892 --> 00:12:03,302 WHAT? 325 00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:04,643 YOU MADE THAT UP. 326 00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:06,766 AWW. 327 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,017 YEAH. 328 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,110 AND HE PUT US ABOVE NACHOS AND MEGAN FOX. 329 00:12:11,111 --> 00:12:13,562 HE'S A GOOD KID. 330 00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:14,774 HE IS. 331 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:15,905 NOW LET'S JUST KEEP LOOKING THROUGH HIS CRAP 332 00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:17,277 AND HOPE THERE'S NOTHING DEAD IN HERE. 333 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,532 ( clatters ) 334 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,324 LENNOX? 335 00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:27,076 WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HOME? 336 00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:28,367 NOTHING. 337 00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:29,708 DID YOU JUST TAKE A SHOWER? 338 00:12:29,709 --> 00:12:31,630 NO. 339 00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:34,043 - YOUR HAIR'S WET. - OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 340 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,876 MY HAIR TOOK A LITTLE SHOWER. 341 00:12:36,877 --> 00:12:39,758 SO DOESN'T EMERSON HAVE A SHOWER AT HIS PLACE? 342 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,180 YES, HE DOES, 343 00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:43,762 AND IT IS AMAZING. 344 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:44,684 UH-HUH. 345 00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:46,515 SO, WELL, I'M JUST GONNA 346 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,979 GRAB A FEW MORE THINGS AND THEN I WILL BE OUT OF YOUR WAY. 347 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:51,650 OH, NO. 348 00:12:51,651 --> 00:12:54,773 I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT YOU. 349 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,027 I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE SO FOND OF GOOD OLD "WASTEY." 350 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,399 ANYWAY, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU, 351 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,241 'CAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT 352 00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:04,243 IF YOU WANTED TO STAY HERE AND JUST 353 00:13:04,244 --> 00:13:06,365 HAVE EMERSON COME OVER ONCE IN AWHILE, 354 00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:07,706 THAT'D BE COOL. 355 00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:10,619 WAIT, SO NOW THE ETHICS DON'T BOTHER YOU ANYMORE? 356 00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,751 WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT I HAVE MODIFIED 357 00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,753 MY PREVIOUSLY STATED STANCE. 358 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:17,797 SO YOU KNOW, IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE MOVING BACK. 359 00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:20,009 I DON'T KNOW. 360 00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:22,341 I'M PRETTY HAPPY AT EMERSON'S. 361 00:13:22,342 --> 00:13:26,185 LENNOX, YOU AND I HAD A BAD DAY YESTERDAY, 362 00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,637 AND I... I OVERREACTED. 363 00:13:28,638 --> 00:13:30,850 YEAH, YOU DID. 364 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,561 YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE I'LL STAY FOR DINNER 365 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,732 BEFORE I GO BACK. 366 00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:36,565 OH, THAT'D BE GREAT. 367 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:40,239 HEY, MAYBE YOU AND I COULD BEHAVE BETTER IN THE FUTURE. 368 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,991 YOU KNOW, I WON'T ACT LIKE A BIG OLD MEANIE. 369 00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:43,402 THANK YOU. 370 00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:45,574 YOU WON'T ACT LIKE A BIG OLD BABY. 371 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,406 WHAT, YOU THINK I ACTED LIKE A BABY? 372 00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:50,159 NO. NO, I MEANT SMALL CHILD. 373 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,581 OH, YEAH. THAT'S REAL NICE, AUNT MEL. 374 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,623 SEE, THIS IS WHY I MOVED TO EMERSON'S. 375 00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:56,625 SO I COULD BE TREATED LIKE AN ADULT. 376 00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,587 SOMEONE WHO'S CAPABLE OF MAKING THEIR OWN DECISIONS 377 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,049 WITHOUT PEOPLE JUDGING THEM. 378 00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:02,461 I'M NOT JUDGING YOUR DECISIONS. 379 00:14:02,462 --> 00:14:04,723 I'M JUST SAYING YOU'RE MAKING A TERRIBLE ONE. 380 00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:07,016 GOODBYE. 381 00:14:07,017 --> 00:14:09,098 FINE! RUN AWAY. 382 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,599 BUT YOU CAN'T COME BACK! 383 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,022 UNLESS YOU WANT TO. 384 00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:20,649 I DON'T GET IT. I COMPLETELY CAVE 385 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:21,901 AND IT STILL DIDN'T WORK. 386 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,073 NOW HOW DO WE WIN HER BACK? 387 00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:25,864 I'VE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT THIS ONE. 388 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,447 YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T AGREE WITH LENNOX'S DECISION, 389 00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:31,080 WE MUST ACCEPT IT. 390 00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:33,162 WE'VE ALREADY LOST. 391 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,046 WELL, THANKS FOR THE PEP TALK, DALI LONGO. 392 00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,588 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TAKE WHAT THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU 393 00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,550 AND... ACCEPT. 394 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:42,841 OH, THAT'S CRAP. 395 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:44,263 SHE'S LIVING WITH THAT CREEP 396 00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:45,264 WHO'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER. 397 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:46,885 HOW CAN YOU STAY SO CALM? 398 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,889 I'M CALM BECAUSE THERE'S NO OTHER FREAKING CHOICE! 399 00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:53,312 ANGRY JOE. 400 00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:54,393 IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK ON THE TEAM. 401 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,434 SO NOW, WHAT DO WE DO? 402 00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,685 WE STILL CAN'T DO ANYTHING, 403 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,147 BUT NOW I'M ALL AGITATED. THANKS A LOT. 404 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,069 YOU HAPPY? 405 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,611 ACTUALLY, YEAH. 406 00:15:06,236 --> 00:15:08,657 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I DID TODAY. 407 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,080 ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL? 408 00:15:11,081 --> 00:15:13,202 YOU OPENED THE WINDOW. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 409 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,204 TO AIR IT OUT. THERE WERE SOME SMELLS IN HERE 410 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,416 THAT NEEDED TO BE LET FREE. 411 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,838 WHERE'S THE BIRD? WHERE'S JAMES'S BIRD? 412 00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:21,090 HE LIVES IN THE BATHROOM. 413 00:15:21,091 --> 00:15:23,212 OH MY GOD. YOU LOST MARCEL! 414 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,423 WHAT? NO. 415 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,594 I'M SURE HE'S NOT LOST. 416 00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:28,427 HE JUST WENT OUT FOR A WORM OR SOMETHING. 417 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,009 HERE, BIRDIE BIRDIE. 418 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,011 OH, NO. THIS IS BAD. 419 00:15:32,012 --> 00:15:33,602 THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD. 420 00:15:33,603 --> 00:15:35,224 OKAY. 421 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,895 LET'S NOT FREAK OUT RIGHT AWAY. 422 00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,227 NO, LENNOX, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 423 00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,649 IF YOU LOST JAMES'S BIRD, HE'LL KICK ME OUT. 424 00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:43,322 HIS DAD OWNS THIS PLACE AND HE GIVES ME A HUGE BREAK ON RENT. 425 00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:44,984 HOW DO YOU THINK I CAN AFFORD THESE KILLER FRAMES 426 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,566 AND THAT ROCKIN' MAN BAG? 427 00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:51,620 WELL, I'M SORRY, OKAY? I DIDN'T KNOW. 428 00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:53,072 WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED. 429 00:15:53,073 --> 00:15:54,333 I DIDN'T REALIZE I NEEDED PERMISSION 430 00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:55,784 TO SCRUB THE BATHROOM. 431 00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:57,416 THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE BATHROOM. 432 00:15:57,417 --> 00:15:58,837 THIS IS ABOUT YOU THINKING YOU CAN MOVE IN 433 00:15:58,838 --> 00:16:00,169 AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, 434 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:01,290 EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ONLY HERE 435 00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,172 BECAUSE YOU THREW A TANTRUM AND RAN AWAY. 436 00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:04,963 WHOA, EXCUSE ME. 437 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,675 I JUST CLEANED YOUR FILTHY BATHROOM. 438 00:16:06,676 --> 00:16:08,847 I THINK THE WORDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ARE "THANK YOU" 439 00:16:08,848 --> 00:16:11,090 AND "SORRY I LIVE LIKE A DUNG BEETLE." 440 00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:13,682 JUST DON'T DO STUFF 441 00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,264 UNLESS I AUTHORIZE IT. 442 00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,395 AUTHORIZE? 443 00:16:16,396 --> 00:16:19,308 I THOUGHT WE WERE EQUALS ON EVERY LEVEL. 444 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:20,399 HARDLY! 445 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,401 YOUR "INSIGHTS" ON WITTGENSTEIN 446 00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:25,444 WERE, IF ANYTHING, SIMPLISTIC AND PEDESTRIAN. 447 00:16:25,445 --> 00:16:27,656 BUT YOU SAID THEY WERE ASTUTE AND PENETRATING. 448 00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:29,408 I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP WITH YOU! 449 00:16:29,409 --> 00:16:31,070 ( gasps ) 450 00:16:31,071 --> 00:16:32,321 ( chirps ) 451 00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:34,033 MARCEL! OH, THANK GOD. 452 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,374 HE'S BACK. 453 00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:36,956 ( sighs ) 454 00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:41,710 LOOK, I GUESS I LOST MY TEMPER THERE. 455 00:16:41,711 --> 00:16:44,673 I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE BIRD AND THE RENT. 456 00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:46,295 I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THOSE THINGS. 457 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,257 NO NO. 458 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,680 YOU KNOW, THANKS FOR SHOWING ME WHO YOU REALLY ARE, EMERSON. 459 00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:54,433 GOODBYE, YOU SMUG, PRETENTIOUS JERK. 460 00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:56,635 OH, AND BY THE WAY, 461 00:16:56,636 --> 00:16:58,227 I SAW YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE. 462 00:16:58,228 --> 00:17:00,230 I KNOW YOUR REAL NAME IS GARY. 463 00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:05,734 - Hey, Ryder. - Hey, what's up? 464 00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:07,406 HEY, WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOUR PASSPORT, 465 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:08,697 BUT WE HAVEN'T FOUND IT YET. 466 00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:10,239 IT'S NOT GONNA STOP US FROM LOOKING THOUGH, BUDDY. 467 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,240 IT'S GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE. 468 00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:13,072 Yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. 469 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,324 I found my passport. 470 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,076 - You what? - Yeah. 471 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,537 Turns out it was in the front pocket 472 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,079 of my duffel bag the whole time. 473 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,920 How funny is that? 474 00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:23,252 Dude, that's so funny. 475 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:25,164 Exactly when were you gonna tell us that? 476 00:17:25,165 --> 00:17:26,335 Well, I was about to call you yesterday, 477 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,667 but then there was a "Walking Dead" marathon, 478 00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,259 and I just got sucked in. 479 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:33,222 Did the zombie by any chance eat your brain? 480 00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:35,094 ( car horn honking ) 481 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,675 OH, BUS IS HERE. 482 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:38,637 OKAY, GUYS. 483 00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:41,350 I'LL SEE YOU. BYE, THANKS. 484 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,522 HE HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME. 485 00:17:43,523 --> 00:17:45,234 YOU KNOW, LENNOX MAY HAVE MOVED OUT, 486 00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:47,646 BUT I HAVE A FEELING THAT RYDER'S GONNA BE LIVING WITH US 487 00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:49,359 TILL HE'S 40-FREAKING-FIVE. 488 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:01,790 JOE? 489 00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:03,542 LENNOX. WHAT'S WRONG? 490 00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:05,964 WELL, EMERSON AND I GOT IN A BIG FIGHT 491 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,336 AND I MOVED OUT, 492 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,258 BUT NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, 493 00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,630 BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I CAN JUST MOVE BACK HOME. 494 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:12,921 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OF COURSE YOU CAN. 495 00:18:12,922 --> 00:18:14,263 NO, I CAN'T. 496 00:18:14,264 --> 00:18:16,094 I MADE A BIG DEAL TO AUNT MEL ABOUT 497 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,266 BEING TREATED LIKE AN ADULT. 498 00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:19,478 I CAN'T JUST CRAWL BACK LIKE A BABY. 499 00:18:19,479 --> 00:18:21,140 HEY, LOOK, I DON'T... 500 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,642 I DON'T WANT YOU TO CRY WHEN I TELL YOU THIS, 501 00:18:23,643 --> 00:18:25,434 BUT YOU ARE A BABY. 502 00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:27,226 I'M 18. 503 00:18:27,227 --> 00:18:28,727 WHY ARE YOU COMING TO ME ABOUT THIS? 504 00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:30,319 YOUR AUNT THINKS YOU'RE A LOT MORE READY FOR THESE 505 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,361 MATURE SITUATIONS THAN I DO, ANYWAY. 506 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,072 WELL, THAT'S JUST THE THING. 507 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,654 YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE AN ADULT, 508 00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:38,907 SO WHEN I ACT LIKE A KID, I HAVEN'T DISAPPOINTED YOU. 509 00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:40,239 THAT'S VERY PERCEPTIVE... 510 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,000 FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 511 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:43,662 THANKS. 512 00:18:43,663 --> 00:18:46,084 BUT WHAT DO I DO ABOUT AUNT MEL? 513 00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:49,248 HOW DO I CRAWL BACK WITH DIGNITY? 514 00:18:49,249 --> 00:18:51,630 YOU GOT ANY IDEAS? 515 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,253 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'M JOE LONGO. 516 00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:56,385 I GOT A MILLION IDEAS. 517 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,808 YEAH, BUT YOU GOT ANY GOOD ONES? 518 00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:01,060 I MIGHT HAVE ONE. 519 00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:03,222 - GET IN HERE. - JOE! 520 00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:05,394 JOE! LET ME GO! 521 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,226 NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME. 522 00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,478 I KNOW YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH YOUR SCUMBAG BOYFRIEND, 523 00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:11,069 BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET IT HAPPEN! 524 00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:12,651 I HATE YOU! 525 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,073 FINE! HATE ME NOW. YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME FOR IT LATER. 526 00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:16,825 OH, YEAH RIGHT. AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? 527 00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:18,947 FORBID ME FROM SEEING EMERSON AGAIN? 528 00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:20,409 THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME. 529 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,541 YEAH. NO MORE OF THAT SKEEZY GUY. 530 00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:25,043 NOW YOU TAKE THIS BAG AND YOU GET UPSTAIRS TO YOUR ROOM 531 00:19:25,044 --> 00:19:26,375 RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! 532 00:19:26,376 --> 00:19:28,337 FINE! IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE UPSTAIRS IN MY ROOM 533 00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:29,878 CURSING YOUR NAME. 534 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:30,880 LOVE IT! 535 00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:35,884 WHAT WAS THAT? 536 00:19:35,885 --> 00:19:38,887 DID YOU GO OVER THERE AND DRAG HER BACK LIKE A CAVEMAN? 537 00:19:38,888 --> 00:19:40,799 I DID. COOL, HUH? 538 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,641 AREN'T YOU HAPPY? 539 00:19:42,642 --> 00:19:44,643 ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M THRILLED. 540 00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:46,225 BUT I'M ALSO CONFUSED. 541 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,307 I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE HAD TO ACCEPT HER DECISIONS. 542 00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:51,069 YEAH, I REALIZED THAT WAS A BUNCH OF CRAP. 543 00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:53,071 AND WHEN DID YOU DO THAT? 544 00:19:53,072 --> 00:19:54,523 YOU'RE OVER-THINKING IT. 545 00:19:54,524 --> 00:19:56,985 PARENTING IS ABOUT STEPPING UP AND DOING THE TOUGH STUFF. 546 00:19:56,986 --> 00:19:59,988 AND THAT'S WHAT I DID. I STEPPED UP AND I DID THE TOUGH STUFF. 547 00:19:59,989 --> 00:20:01,240 UH-HUH. UH-HUH. 548 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,661 AND I'M SURE THE TOUGHEST PART 549 00:20:02,662 --> 00:20:05,163 WAS DRAGGING HER BACK HER AGAINST HER WILL 550 00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:08,748 WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY DRIVING HER CAR AND YOUR CAR. 551 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,883 I SAID IT WASN'T EASY. 552 00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:17,886 HONEY, HONEY, THINK OF IT LIKE AN INCREDIBLE MAGIC TRICK. 553 00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:19,428 OKAY? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S DONE, 554 00:20:19,429 --> 00:20:20,759 BUT YOU JUST MARVEL AT THE SKILL OF THE GUY 555 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,931 WHO MADE THE TIGER DISAPPEAR. 556 00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:24,223 YOU'RE REALLY NOT GONNA TELL ME? 557 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,225 NO. 558 00:20:30,690 --> 00:20:31,850 - HEY. - HEY. 559 00:20:31,851 --> 00:20:32,851 HEY. WELCOME BACK. 560 00:20:32,852 --> 00:20:34,903 - HOW WAS MONTREAL? - AWESOME. 561 00:20:34,904 --> 00:20:36,735 YEAH? DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME USING YOUR FRENCH? 562 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,697 YEAH, I GOT TO GO TO A RESTAURANT AND SAY, 563 00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:39,949 "S'IL VOUS PLAIT LE BIG MAC." 564 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,862 MUST BE REELING FROM THE CULTURE SHOCK. 565 00:20:43,863 --> 00:20:45,284 RYDER, NOW THAT YOU'RE HOME, WILL YOU PLEASE 566 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,865 PUT YOUR PASSPORT SOMEWHERE YOU CAN REMEMBER? 567 00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:48,708 YEAH. I'LL DO THAT RIGHT NOW. 568 00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:52,871 OH, CRAP. 569 00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:54,172 I THINK I LEFT IT ON THE BUS. 570 00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,874 I DID IT AGAIN. 571 00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:57,716 HEY! SLOW DOWN. STOP! 572 00:20:57,717 --> 00:20:58,718 BONJOUR! 573 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,260 YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. 574 00:21:02,882 --> 00:21:04,933 OH, THAT BUS IS NOT SLOWING DOWN. 575 00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:06,936 NEITHER IS HE. 576 00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:11,059 OH MY... 577 00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,691 IT'S HIS PASSPORT. HE DROPPED IT. 578 00:21:12,692 --> 00:21:14,693 - I GOTTA GO AFTER HIM. - WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. 579 00:21:14,694 --> 00:21:16,855 HE MADE US SEARCH FOR THAT THING FOR A FEW DAYS. 580 00:21:16,856 --> 00:21:19,858 I THINK WE SHOULD LET HIM RUN A FEW MILES. 581 00:21:19,859 --> 00:21:21,701 BUT, MEL... THAT SEEMS FAIR. 582 00:21:23,863 --> 00:21:25,665 AU REVOIR.